A Nazi dog has successfully framed his Scottish owner for hate speech, according to reports today.
Mark Meechan, 30 – also known as Count Dankula – was found guilty of a charge under the Communications Act that he posted a video on social media which was grossly offensive because it was “anti-semitic and racist in nature” and was aggravated by religious prejudice.
However, Airdrie Sheriff Court confirmed that his girlfriend’s dog, Buddha, remains at large and completely free from suspicion.
“Yeah, I love a bit of Hitler me,” the dog in questions told reporters this morning, “Which is funny considering my name is Buddha.
“I realise that in this day and age enjoying a bit of Nazi rhetoric is considered bad form, but I can’t help it. I love all of it. The authoritarianism, the uniforms – and yes, even the mass murder of people I don’t particularly like.
“But you have to hide it away most of the time – unless your owner has a gullible boyfriend that you can trick into filming you to get your message out there. And fortunately for me, my owner has such a gullible boyfriend, which was nice.
“He thought he was doing something funny on YouTube, but in reality, I was carefully manipulating him to further the Nazi cause. How you all couldn’t see that, I’ll never know. He’s a such an obvious patsy.
“Even better, the courts have now blamed him and his ‘bad joke’ for the entire thing, and not me – the real culprit – while I get to continue giving Nazi salutes anytime I like, without worrying that I’ll get sent to the pound.
“You people really are idiots.”
Meanwhile, the news that jokes considered ‘not funny’ could now result in prison sentences has spread panic throughout the offices of second-rate satirical publications.
NewsThump Editor Simon Williams told us, “If people being offended by your bad-taste joke could see you banged up, there is a strong possibility I may never see the sun again.”