Theresa May aiming to deliver Brexit deal that disappoints absolutely everyone

Prime Minister Theresa May has outlined his plan to deliver a Brexit deal that ensures everyone is unhappy with it, regardless of how you voted in the referendum.

Speaking at a Mansion House event, May told attendees “Let me be clear, Brexit means Brexit, and Brexit means something very different to what you think it means.

“The only certainty I can offer you is that the eventual deal will be a huge disappointment to you personally, regardless of how you voted in the referendum.

The prime minister then went on to explain the ways in which she will disappoint those keen to see what deal we eventually negotiate.

She told those gathered, “If you voted Leave purely on the basis of stopping all freedom of movement for EU immigrants, then you’re going to be sorely disappointed.

“If you voted to Remain because you wanted to retain a full say in how the European market evolves, then you’re going to be sorely disappointed.

“If you voted Leave because you don’t want British taxpayer money going to Brussels, then you’re going to be sorely disappointed.

“If you voted Remain because you wanted to retain unfettered access to the EU market, then you’re going to be sorely disappointed.

“All in all, I think we’re doing a sterling job of pissing off just about every single stakeholder group involved in the whole mess.

“On the plus side, we have finally managed to unite Remainers and Brexiters – in telling the government it’s doing a crap job.”

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!

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