Sun exclusive reveals Bolshevik Hezbollah apologist raining icy death spheres on innocent pedestrians

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The Sun stood out from its rivals yesterday after revealing the hidden terror associated with Jeremy Corbyn’s snow frolics on Instagram.

Whereas most newspapers covered the lighthearted viral pictures with amusement, the Sun conscientiously dedicated a three-page spread to the potential lethality of snowballs.

The tabloid also included an interview with SAS hero, Andy McNab, who explained how a trained operative could use snow as a weapon and how Iranian secret services were reputed to have fine-tuned the art of assassinations made to look like winter-related accidents.

Richard Littlejohn, the controversial columnist and right-wing curmudgeon, defended the editorial policy of his former employer.

“Thank God someone has the guts to reveal Jeremy Corbyn for the commie snow-terrorist he is.

“You know who else liked snow? Gerry Adams that’s who. And Yasser Arafat. And how do we know he is not using his so-called spontaneous fun to pass state secrets on to Venezuelan spies?

“After all, he speaks Spanish, and if that’s not anti-British behaviour I don’t know what is.

“Did I mention I hate gayness? Not natural if you ask me.”

Labour Press Officer Simon Williams dismissed the attacks.

He told us, “It’s just the Murdoch press up to their usual tricks. We hope to build good relations with all the dailies including the Sun.

“Their journalists are welcome to talk to us anytime and certainly don’t need to worry about an access embargo and an HMRC tax audit for each one of those fucking snakes the second we take power.”