After announcing that funding should be withdrawn from the International Space Station and for it to become a future commercial platform, Trump has insisted that there is no need for global concern at all.
However, many fear that the station, which will presumably have the Trump logo emblazoned on it in gaudy massive letters by 2024, will become an evil lair for the power hungry President like something out of one of the weaker Bond films.
“It’s true that I would eventually like to own the space station and turn it into a massive success like Trump Casinos,” explained the President this morning.
“But there is nothing sinister about it at all. I just want to be able to hover over North Korea, ready to drop a bomb right on little rocket man’s head at any minute.
“A lot of the scientists that I will place in charge of the ISS graduated from Trump University, so we know it will be in safe hands.”
The announcement has left many Trump supporters confused, due to the revelation of the possibility that the space station, and therefore a spherical Earth, exists and is not a myth made up by the fake news elite.