Brexiter dumps girlfriend but demands to keep key to her house

author avatar by 6 years ago

A Brexit supporter has broken up with his girlfriend but wishes to retain some of the benefits of their relationship.

Simon Williams, a 27-year-old Brexiter, told Elizabeth King, 25, that things weren’t working out, he was tired of the relationship and he wished to take back control of his spare time, his hooded sweatshirts and the TV remote.

“But I still want to be able to use things in her house,” confirmed Williams.

“I’ve terminated the relationship but I don’t see why that precludes me from using her coffee machine, her Xbox One or petting her dog.

“So I’m going to be keeping the key, I reckon. That seems entirely reasonable to me.”

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King responded, “No.

“That prick broke up with me, which means his access to anything associated with me has been revoked.

“If he wants to continue to use my things, he’s going to have to pay some kind of fee to do so that will be high enough for it to be worth my hassle, or he has to return the key.”

Williams countered, “She’s being such an unreasonable prick.”