Peter Jackson still directing The Hobbit

author avatar by 6 years ago

Acclaimed filmmaker Peter Jackson is still shooting additional scenes for his extended edition version of The Hobbit trilogy, it has been reported.

The New Zealand born director, who has been adapting the child’s bedtime story written by J.R.R. Tolkien since 2010, is said to have lost his mind, gone ‘gold mad’ much like the Dwarven king Thorin Oakenshield.

Warner Brothers studios have distanced themselves from the ongoing filming, which Middle Earth fans have labelled as ‘deranged and despicable’.

“We stopped funding The Hobbit trilogy film series shortly after the Blu Ray collector’s editions were released in 2015,” said one Warner Brothers producer while drafting yet another apology letter to his secretary.

“The cast and crew are now being paid in Air New Zealand miles.”

NewsThump Best sellers

Jackson, however, has no intention of stopping, and in fact seems hell-bent on expanding the motion picture adaptation of The Hobbit into a seven-part saga that is set to include the Adventures of Tom Bombadil and the very first time Bilbo smoked the finest pipe-weed in the South Farthing.

To keep up his prodigious work rate – he directs for 22 hours a day – Jackson reportedly drinks between ten and twenty teas per hour, each with a dozen sugars in them.

“He has at least switched to soy milk, so that’s something,” said Legolas impersonator Orlando Bloom, whose lack of artistic integrity has been integral to the making of The Hobbit expanded trilogy.

The Hobbit: Definitive Director Edition will be over two days long when released. Christopher Tolkien, son of the original author, had this to say, “Erebor? Might like Ere-bore! Take that, Jackson!”