Santa has confirmed with sadness that children across America are facing a bleak Christmas in the wake of President Trump adding ‘The North Pole’ to the countries on his travel ban list.
The roly-poly present distributor has today confirmed that he will most likely not be able to deliver any gifts to Americans this Christmas Eve, due to the xenophobic actions of the bumbling windbag in the White House.
Santa’s elf in charge of communications, Simon, announced “We knew it was only a matter of time before Donald Trump ruined Christmas like he has ruined nearly every other aspect of American life.
“Trump announced yesterday that the North Pole would be added to the list of countries from which it is illegal to enter the USA.
“We can only assume he has done this because like the other countries on the list, the North Pole is just one of those places he has heard of but will never visit because the people who live there look different to him.
“Which seems a bit unfair – us elves all have the same round belly as he does.”
The announcement has caused distress to thousands of American children, who fear they may wake up on Christmas morning with no presents to open.
Simon the elf was quick to reassure the American public, saying “We are currently looking into making alternative arrangements for every present to be delivered in advance by Yodel to the White House and we are able to sort this out then we encourage the entire population to descend on that address first thing on Christmas morning to collect their gifts.
“I’m sure Trump won’t mind, what with him being so keen on wishing everyone a ‘Merry Christmas’ all the time.”