Family with enough spare rooms to house all survivors in luxury pay tribute to Grenfell Tower victims

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A family, whose London abode has enough bedrooms to luxuriously house all of the survivors of the Grenfell Tower disaster, has attended a memorial service held at St Paul’s Cathedral yesterday to pay tribute to the victims.

The Windsors, a family of unemployed immigrants from Westminster, whose 775 room palace is funded by the taxpayer, can regularly be seen attending memorial services for people they could easily help if they really wanted to.

A Royal spokesperson said earlier today that, when the Royals heard that some people who lived in small flats had died, they saw it as an ideal opportunity to connect with the community, in order to alleviate some of their guilt, although the most senior Royals stayed away.

The spokesperson explained “The Queen has already spent her morning waiting while some of her servants woke her with a silver tray breakfast, selected what she would wear, dressed her, checked she’d had wee-wees and ensured that she was able to get to her comfy throne in time for ‘Homes under the Hammer’.

“After all of that, she was too tired to attend so made some of her children and grandchildren go instead. She likes them out of the house by the time ‘Bargain Hunt’ comes on.”

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Meanwhile, the always insightful and caring Daily Mail has been questioning why the taxpayer should be footing the bill for the survivors to live in hotels, when that money could be more usefully spent on some new curtains for Buckingham Palace.

The Prince of Wales, who arrived shortly before 11am, was able to get away in time for a pre-arranged lunch engagement with Piers Morgan, who it is thought will let him know of any other such services he and his family can attend, preferably on Thursdays.