Post-Brexit economic plan just ‘fingers crossed’ scribbled on fag packet

author avatar by 6 years ago

The was further embarrassment for the government today as their crucial post-Brexit economic strategy was leaked and revealed to be just the phrase ‘fingers crossed’ scribbled on the back of a packet of Silk Cut.

It is thought that there wasn’t enough room on the fag packet to scribble the alternative strategy – ‘hope it all sorts itself out.’

The leak came about after top government thinkers met to formulate the strategy over a bottle of Diamond White in a subway and accidentally forgot to take to official documents away with them.

“The problem is that without a proper fanfare or press conference, our post-Brexit economic strategy just looks like any old thing scribbled on the back of a fag packet,” said a government insider.

“But in reality, if we’d had time to present it in a nice branded plastic folder, people would see it for what it is – the most comprehensive economic plan a Tory government has ever had.”

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It seems like the strategy has won favour with Tory voters.

“Yeah, I mean, I know the plan is just ‘fingers crossed’ scribbled on the back of a fag packet, and that the Tories have systematically made most normal people less well-off over the last seven years whilst making a tiny handful of men much, much wealthier, ” said Simon Williams, a Tory voter who had been dropped on his head a lot as a baby.

“But, you just can’t trust Labour with the economy.”

As an interesting coincidence, the new post-Brexit strategy is identical to David Cameron’s EU referendum campaign strategy.