Husband has fantastic time after wife banishes him to spare room

author avatar by 6 years ago

A man has enjoyed binge-watching boxsets, playing computer games and sleeping really well after a row with his wife saw him exiled to the bed in the spare room.

Simon Williams, 34, said, “I can’t remember what we argued about – something about me not listening properly I think. But the spare room is awesome!

“I’ve been able to watch loads of stuff on the Internet that my wife’s not into… er, you know – violent TV shows and stuff. I can also eat crisps in bed and polish my FIFA 18 skills – I’ve never had so many early nights!”

Mr Williams explained that he now also has more than six inches of space on the side of the bed.

“I’d forgotten how nice it is to be able to move in the night – I normally have to keep really still because any sort of wriggling wakes up my wife. I also have to remain facing away from her because the sound of my breathing is apparently really annoying.

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“Obviously I can’t let on how wonderful it is to have my own room or my wife will make me sleep with her again.

“There was a hairy moment last night when I heard her get up – I had to quickly tear out my earphones and hide my iPad under the covers. Luckily she was only going to the loo.”

Simon was asked if he misses his wife, even a little bit.

He clarified, “Yeah, of course I miss her – in the same way you miss your home when you’re on holiday. Doesn’t mean the holiday isn’t fucking amazing though.”