280 characters will make Twitter the home of calm, courteous debate, insists company despite available evidence

author avatar by 6 years ago

Giving everyone 280 characters will make debates well constructed, articulate and courteous, Twitter believes.

Simultaneously displaying a touching faith and astonishing ignorance in the human race, Twitter has rolled out the extended character limit across its network to boost engagement, encourage meaningful conversations and make users lives even more of a living hell than they already are.

The change allows users to construct entire sentences and present their case fully, because sometimes just saying ‘UR a compleat fucktard’ isn’t enough to get your point across.

“We’re very proud of this change to our service”, a spokesman for Twitter told us today.

“Before now, someone who disagreed with you only had a limited amount of space to criticise your intelligence and question your parentage – but we believe by giving people more space to express themselves, they’ll do so courteously and constructively.

“That’s how people work, right?”