Next Call of Duty game to be set in the War on Christmas

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The next edition of the Call of Duty franchise will be about brave local government officers forcing people to say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas.

Centred in the ongoing War on Christmas, the game will ask players to take down Christmas Trees, ban present-giving, and organise a Winterval awareness workshop at the multifaith centre.

The game will be released on both Xbox and Playstation, which ironically characters in the game will be forbidden from putting under Christmas trees in case anyone is offended.

“Call of Duty hasn’t shied away from tackling serious conflicts in the modern world and this is no exception,” said senior developer Simon Williams.

“What we hope to do is highlight the bravery of those caught on the front lines of the conflict, and character loadouts include cease-and-desist orders, posters advertising non-denomination midwinter festivals, and the ability to issue on the spot penalty notices.

“One especially challenging sequence asks players to stage a dawn raid on local primary school to shut down their Nativity Play, and then they have to deal with a crowd of eight-year-olds bursting into tears.

“They’ll have to ‘press X now’ to wipe away the tears literally hundreds of times, and that’s before they tell the head teacher that Father Christmas is a symbol of patriarchy and oppression and suggest the introduction of a ‘Mother Seasonal Outreach’ figure instead.”

The game will be released in time for Kwanzaa.