Dozens of illegal Santas found hiding in back of Coca-Cola Christmas truck

author avatar by 6 years ago

Immigration officers have discovered more than thirty illegal Santas hiding in the back of the Coca-Cola Christmas truck, according to reports today.

The Santas, who are believed to have originated in a fairy kingdom at the North Pole, were found in ‘squalid and unhealthy conditions’ and are understood to be trying to illegally enter the UK to work in the lucrative seasonal present-giving industry.

The driver of the truck has been Saint Nicked by the police and taken for questioning.

Coca-Cola has denied any knowledge of the cargo, saying that the jolly old elves must have sneaked into the truck when it stopped near the Santagatte camp on the approach to Calais.

“It’s these cheap immigrant Santas who ruin it for everyone. Coming over here, taking grottos from hard-working British Santas for a handful of fairy dust,” said Immigration Watch spokesman, Simon Williams.

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“Why is it always healthy Santas trying to get into this country? If they’re genuinely fleeing Frost Giants, why doesn’t he bring Mrs Santa or any of his delightful little goblins with him? Why can’t they stay in the North Pole and make Christmas work there?

“I think they’re naughty, not nice, and should be sent back.”

The UK Border Agency says the Santas will be given medical checks before being repatriated on the first flying sleigh to Spitzbergen that becomes available.

‘Tis the season of goodwill to all men (except Boris Johnson, that guy’s a dick) – get the T-shirt here!