An extremist with links to Russia has dished the dirt on another extremist with links to the former Soviet Union.
President Donald J Trump admitted the American people deserve to the know truth about the assassination of JFK and said he would also expose the Moon Landings as bullshit.
Over two-thousand files relating to the case were released yesterday as the world’s conspiracy theorists prepared to wank themselves into a self-induced coma.
For the benefit of fucking idiots, Oswald shot JFK in late 1963 with a high-powered rifle causing him to die. That’s what happens when bullets enter your brain at considerable speed.
However, many questions refuse to go away, such as what happened in the Moscow hotel room with the prostitutes, the two-way mirror and the waterproof mattress.
Trump said, “I am ordering today that the veil be finally lifted – and, as you know, I am a big fan of veils being lifted.
“The CIA, the grassy knoll, the Fiat Panda – it’s all in there people. Believe me. Sad.”
Political commentator, Simon Williams, said, “If I’d wanted to read about a criminally insane man in the pay of the Russians fucking up the country for the next fifty years, I could have bought today’s paper.”