Friday 27 October 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Simple Minds sued after failing to produce promised miracle

Simple minds miracle

Eighties rock pioneers Simple Minds are facing legal action after consistently failing to produce a miracle that, it is claimed, was first promised as far back as 1982.

The case is being brought by Alex Epps, a Simple Minds fan from Sussex.

“It’s the lies I can’t stand,” said Ms Epps, sadly.

“They promised me a miracle. On numerous occasions. Yet do I ever get a miracle? Oh No. It’s like – ‘I’m Jim Kerr, I’m a big star, I can do what I like, I can promise you a miracle and not give you one.’

“It’s like they’ve forgotten us. The fans. The fans who were promised a miracle.”

Ms Epps is happy to accept any miracle.

“Oh absolutely, walking on water, fish into wine, Boris Johnson shutting up and going away – literally any miracle will do.

“Look, to be honest, I’m not even sure if I want a miracle. If Simple Minds hadn’t promised me one, I probably wouldn’t be too bothered either way. But the fact is that they did promise me a miracle, and you don’t break a promise.

“I bet if U2 promised you a miracle, you’d get a bloody miracle.”

It is thought that Simple Minds will be countersuing Ms Epps after she briefly forgot about them in 2009.

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