Shire-based lotharios are delighted after a working hair restorer for Hobbit feet was released today.
Hairy toes are widely seen as an attractive sign of youth and virility by red-hot Hobbit lasses like Rosie Cotton, and ageing Halflings with more money than sense have long used spurious remedies to prevent the inevitable march of time.
“When I started to lose the hair on my toes I felt less of a Hobbit,” said Samwise Williams over a pipe of Old Toby.
“I tried to comb it over, but it just looked like butter scraped over too much bread.
“I literally felt three feet tall. Because I am three feet tall. But losing my toe-hair made me feel bad about myself as well.
“I tried all kinds of things to make my hair grow back – standing up to increase blood-flow to my toes, rubbing Balrog dung on them, even Homeopathy which I was told was special elven magic.
“What a load of bollocks that turned out to be.
“I just wish I knew Bilbo Baggins’ secret. He’s eleventy-one and still got all his own hair.”