The greatest danger from guns is that a huge one might fall on you, the NRA have confirmed this morning after rock star Marilyn Manson was injured by a large firearm stage prop toppling on him over the weekend.
Following the incident, the NRA rushed out a statement insisting that was the most dangerous thing that might happen from anything to do with guns.
“Everyone knows guns are absolutely safe,” said NRA spokesman Simon-Bob Williams. “This is the first time our organisation has ever been made aware of any sort of injury or ill-fortune around their use, and that was from a great big pretend one.”
“Nothing else has happened that might indicate in any way that open access to firearms might carry risks.”
“There you go, proof we were right all along,” he added before sticking his fingers in his ears and starting to loudly hum The Star-Spangled Banner.
Manson was rushed to hospital after the incident, with a source close to the star saying his condition was “Sweet Dreams”.