Zombies at the door would like to talk to you about Baron Samedi

author avatar by 6 years ago

A smartly-dressed pair of zombies at the door want to know if you’ve heard the Good News about Baron Samedi.

Brandishing a cheerfully-coloured pamphlet titled “Braaaaaains!”, the zombies are very keen to share the benefits of joining the congregation of the Lord of Undeath.

“We’re the only religion to absolutely guarantee an afterlife,” one told us with a cheerful, hideously rotting smile. “And the dress code is very relaxed. It really is ‘come as you’ are to our services.”

Continuing their theme, the zombies confirmed that they hold no discrimination or prejudice, and absolutely anyone is welcome in their number.

“Just this time last year I was literally falling to pieces,” said zombie Simon Williams, 177, whilst trying to reattach his arm. “It was like I was in a hole and I couldn’t get out.

“But since Baron Samedi saved me I’ve felt full of new life. Doesn’t that sound great?

“Can I leave you this pamphlet about the wonderful things brains can do for you?

“If you don’t want to join now, don’t worry, we’ll wait.