Tuesday 26 September 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Top fib parents tell children is ‘You’ll get a good job and own a house’

Family tells fibs

A survey of top fibs that parents tell their children has revealed that the number one fib is ‘You’ll get a good job and own a nice house’.

It was closely followed by ‘Your life has value and meaning,’ and ‘Brexit means Brexit.’

Last year’s top fib – ‘Eating carrots helps you see in the dark’ – came in at number 15.

“It’s very illustrative that in the past, parents’ fibs have focused on eating vegetables and making them go to bed,” said Simon Williams, who claims to be an expert in fibs, but if he was that much of an expert then he could just be fibbing really well so who knows.

“Whereas this year, parents seem much more focused on preventing the child from having a complete existential crisis before they reach their GSCEs.”

Other top parental fibs from the survey include ‘University is definitely worth it,’ ‘Your vote makes all the difference,’ and ‘I’m too sexy for my shirt’.

Interestingly, the list of fibs varies depending on what country you’re from.

In France, the number one fib is ‘You can’t have any wine until you’re a grown-up,’ whereas in Wales it’s ‘It’ll stop raining soon.’

Finally, the number one fib American parents tell their children is that ‘Self-serving racist sex-pests never prosper’.

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