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The front page of The Sun today has revealed that Prince Harry has held the hand of a member of the opposite sex, which is far more important news than anything else going on at the moment.
The tabloid, which has the slogan ‘For a Greater Britain’ despite doing nothing at all to contribute towards that aim, has today printed two photos on its front page depicting Prince Harry and Meghan Markle smiling at each other at the Invictus Games in Toronto, and even going so far as to hold hands.
Senior editor Simon Williams explained the decision, telling us, “This is the only interesting story coming from the other side of the Atlantic, that’s for sure. There is absolutely nothing else of note happening in either Canada or America at the moment, no, definitely not.
“These two have been great at the Invictus games, and it’s only day three. I mean, we could have turned the camera around and taken an inspiring photo of some brave, wounded servicemen and women actually competing, but who would want to see that?
“Besides, this is pretty exciting, isn’t it? Our charming Prince, who is due to slip from 4th to 5th in line to the throne next year, has held hands with a girl – he obviously fancies her!”
Giggling he proudly added, “Next they might even share a kiss, which would be lovely.
“Obviously we’ll be printing a special edition when that happens.”
