Following yesterday’s solar eclipse, Donald Trump has become the first world leader to be blinded while in office.
The US President was filmed staring directly at the sun for a number of minutes, before stepping on a nearby rake and knocking himself unconscious.
Together with his daughter, Trump chose to ignore the advice of scientists who postulated a direct link between staring at something very bright for too long and third degree retinal burns.
Fortunately, a contingency plan is in place, and the President has been issued with those all-important nuclear codes in Braille.
Meanwhile, Trump’s loyal supporters took advantage of the temporary blackout to fire up their torches and do a spot of marching.
White House spokesman, Chuck Williams, said, “Our top optician here showed the President a sight chart, but he just kept repeating the letters U-S-A..U-S-A.
“We’re now trying to issue him with a suitable guide dog, but, so far, each one has just growled at him and backed itself into a corner.”
He added, “The guy’s been stumbling around a lot and randomly grabbing hold of people – so no change there then.”
“This morning, I asked him to point to North Korea on a map and he actually did slightly better than before he lost his sight.”