Vladimir Putin denies links to Russia

author avatar by 7 years ago

Vladimir Putin has become the latest high profile White House insider to deny close links to the Kremlin.

Putin, who was a key adviser to Trump during his Presidential campaign and has been given several key roles in the new administration, is accused of meeting with Russian officials ‘at the highest levels’ for decades – a charge he denies.

According to a report released today, Putin attended briefings at the Kremlin on a daily basis for almost forty years.

He also stands accused of using his connections to influence the recent US elections by engineering the release of sensitive data through patsies such as Wikileaks.

The White House has responded angrily to the suggestion, insisting that Putin is a ‘Proud American’ whose patriotism and loyal service are beyond question.

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Overnight, President Trump became personally involved, tweeting “Fake media reports of Putin links to Kremlin! He’s a great guy and a great pick for NSA chief! Sad lies!”

Democrat members of the US senate have proposed convening an investigation into the alleged ties, but the move will likely be blocked by Republicans keen to show a united front in the face of what they described as ‘baseless rumourmongering’.

Speaking to us from his gigantic gold-and-hooker-filled palace on the Black Sea, Putin said that he rejected the claims and he only has the best interests of America at heart.

“I stand on my record,” he told us. “If I ever spoke to anyone in the Russian administration it was on-record with the interests of America at heart.”

“By the way, this huge marble building, easily visible on Google Earth, is actually a state-owned sanitarium run for the benefit of the people, and not my personal fun palace.

“Another Blini, anyone?”

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