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Following the announcement that Donald Trump will visit the UK in 2018, it has been revealed that mooning experts have been contacted to help prepare the public.
The professional mooners will make sure that the huge numbers of people who want to point their bare backsides at the President can do so in the most efficient way possible.
“In terms of mooning logistics, it will be challenging,” said Simon Williams, one of the country’s leading experts on exposing posteriors.
“The UK visit of Donald Trump is expected to be the largest ever British mooning event since the famous 1903 ‘Arse-off’ between England and Scotland, where over six hundred thousand people mooned each other over the course of three days.
“We don’t know how long Mr Trump will be in the country, probably only a day or so, but we expect that somewhere between 500,000 and a 1,000,000 people will want to use that period to point their exposed buttocks in his general direction.
“It’s going to be a difficult logistical exercise, certainly – but I trust in the ingenuity of the British people.
“Off the top of my head, we will be looking at around the clock mooning taking place 24-7 during his visit. If all goes well, wherever he looks, there should always be several hundred naked arses in the President’s eye line.”
The quality and quantity of the mooning will be vital in a showpiece demonstration of what, in the wake of Brexit, will be considered one of Britain’s last remaining world-leading talents – getting one’s bottom out.
