“Trust me” says vampire from Blade movies

Donald Trump Jnr has told everyone to trust him despite the fact he’s clearly a vampire from the popular Blade movie series.

The son of the President made the declaration after admitting to meeting with a Russian lawyer which apparently meant “nothing” in the same way that cheating on one’s wife means “nothing”.

“It’s difficult to trust a man who so clearly drinks blood while wearing an expensive suit, ” said journalist, Simon Williams.

“He’s not even trying to hide it. Just look at that slicked hair. It positively reeks of mid-tier vampire.

“One wonders if he’s a vampire from the first Blade movie, which was excellent, the second, which was alright, or the third, which was shit.”

A spokesperson for Trump Jnr sai, “my client vehemently denies the accusations of being a vampire from a popular film franchise.

“No member of the Trump family is going to be involved in a film series which has a black man in the lead role.

“We cannot, however, confirm or deny that he is a vampire from the Underworld series of films, which stars an attractive white lady in a skin-tight catsuit.”

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