Government remains committed to doing f**k all about Southern Rail

As industrial action begins again on the beleaguered Southern Rail network, the Government have made it clear that they will not waver from their policy of doing f**k all about the crisis.

Industrial action began on the network in May 2016, and the Government responded immediately by doing f**k all, the action continued throughout the summer leading the Government to do f**k all. In December, the driver’s union Aslef joined the dispute, forcing the Government to double their efforts in doing f**k all.

Finally, after eight months of the Government doing f**k all, the industrial action wound down for talks between union and management. However, after those talks came to nothing, fresh industrial action began leading the Government to reaffirm it’s commitment to doing f**k all.

There had been concern that the Government would be too busy doing f**k all about hot-button topics like social housing and Brexit to really give focus on doing f**k all about Southern Rail, but these fears were allayed by Theresa May during PMQs.

“What is the Government prepared to do to end the longest-running industrial dispute in a generation and restore a reliable mass-transit system to the south of England,” asked MP Simon Williams.

“F**K all,” responded the Prime Minister, to Tory cheers.