Jeremy Corbyn is expected to seek a Confidence and Supply agreement with his own party, after failing to gain the support of 50 of his own MPs yesterday.
Corbyn, who sacked four members of his front bench before the first day of the new parliament was even over, is understood to be cobbling together a deal with extremist elements within his own party – including Hilary Benn and Chukka Umunna.
The money to help smooth the arrangement will come from what Corbyn described as his ‘magic money allotment’.
“It’s sickening that Jeremy has to deal with these people just to shore up his own tenuous authority,” a Conservative spokesman told us between bouts of uncontrollable laughter.
“If he can’t bring his party along with him he should do the decent thing and call another election.
“But no, he’ll promise money and concessions to these special interest groups in the next office along just to get them onside.”
When asked if he’d raise money to fund the deal by selling his homemade pickles and preserves, Corbyn told us he would increase revenues by selling Jam Tomorrow.
“Because that’s what Labour has always sold,” he added with a chuckle.