There was relief amongst ministers this morning as they were able to access their World of Warcraft accounts for the first time after the cyber-attack on Parliament last Friday.
The attack, which has been blamed on Boris Johnson’s love of extreme donkey pornography, was relatively low-impact, but access to World of Warcraft was limited as a precaution.
“I’d been levelling up my Warlock,” said Minister for Transport and idiot in need of a village Chris Grayling.
“I’d got him up to level 60 and was starting to get some bally decent epic gear, me and some of that chaps from Agriculture were going to have a crack at the Blackrock mountain upper city when one of the duffers from IT locked us out.
“Bally nuisance over nothing, if you ask me, I had to spend the afternoon doing Industrial relations work with Southern bally rail. Dreadful bore.”
It is understood that the PM, who has a fully-levelled Orc Death Knight, was particularly put out as she had nothing to distract her from the hideous black-hole of humiliation and ruin that her career has become.
Happily, with the cyber-attack now over, Parliament can get back to serving the country in the best way possible – by playing computer games and leaving everyone alone.