Office conversations dominated by sunburn comparisons

Offices across the country are rife with earnest conversations comparing grades of sunburn among colleagues.

With various shades of pink and crimson being worn as badges of honour, a common sight in office buildings is arms held side by side like the beginning of a musical number between two jolly dancers about to skip to the next scene.

“I was out all day yesterday without suncream,” beamed office worker Simon Williams, 28.

“Yes, the back of my neck looks like fried bacon, and I can’t turn my head without a searing pain bringing tears to my eyes, but I’m sure it’ll go a nice colour later in the week.

“I’ve also got a perfectly white watch mark, which shows I got just the right amount of sun. Dave in marketing took his watch off while he was out in the sun, the idiot.

“How is anyone going to know how much of a tan he’s got without a nice white watch mark for comparison?

“However, my body remains milk bottle white, obviously – because I kept my t-shirt on. I always keep it on because I don’t want to get skin cancer, I’m not a moron.”

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