DUP ridiculed for believing that Theresa May is only 6000-years-old

author avatar by 7 years ago

The Democratic Unionist Party have some strange views, it has emerged.

With the announcement yesterday that the Conservative Party are to form a minority government with the support of the DUP, a glance through their list of beliefs has raised eyebrows across Westminster.

Labour MP and rational human Simon Williams shook his head in dismay after reading the DUPs outdated views on same-sex marriage, but laughed heartily after reading their opinion on the age of the Prime Minister.

“Absolutely incredible” he chuckled. “In this day and age, who could believe that our Prime Minister is only six thousand years old?

“Just look at all the evidence, it clearly points to her being millions of years old.

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“What with the outdated references to fields of wheat, and repeated phrases such as ‘Brexit means brexit’ and ‘Strong and stable’ which already feel like we’ve been hearing them since the dawning of time, it’s pretty clear that estimating her age at a few thousand years is ludicrous.”

Scientists have been attempting to carbon date Theresa May to prove the DUP wrong once and for all but are reportedly having difficulty getting hold of the elusive Prime Minister.

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