Spirit of Houdini pays tribute to Arsene Wenger

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The ghost of legendary escapologist Harry Houdini has sent a message from beyond the grave to say that he’s been out-performed by Arsene Wenger.

Just a week ago almost everyone agreed that the end was nigh for the veteran football manager, it seeming certain that he would have to leave Arsenal following a series of disastrous performances on the pitch.

But one blink of an eye and a glorious FA Cup final triumph later, all bad times have been forgotten – Wenger has been rewarded with a new two-year contract and will remain in the hot seat at the Emirates stadium.

Paying a very personal tribute to the French genius and his enormous ability to get out of anything, Houdini’s ghost said, “I used to think I was the greatest escapologist the world would ever see, but Arsene has out-done even me.

“One moment he’s dead and buried, then all of a sudden with one mighty bound the guy is celebrating with a piece of silverware and a lucrative new deal.

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“You’re left thinking: how the fuck did he manage that?”

News that Wenger was staying at Arsenal produced a mixed response. Simon Williams, deputy sub-editor of the Forever Arsenal fanzine, said: “Oh no. This is an awful decision.”

However, not everyone in north London shared his views. “I think it is absolutely brilliant, the best thing I’ve heard all day,” said an M Pochettino of N17.