Jeremy Hunt privatises parliamentary seat and sells it to himself

Jeremy Hunt has taken steps to ensure he does not lose his seat in parliament in the general election by privatising his South West Surrey seat and selling it to himself.

The health secretary faces a strong challenge for the seat from a GP leading the National Health Action Party after Labour, the Green party and the Liberal Democrats joined forces to challenge him.

Addressing reporters outside his home he announced, “I have held this seat for long enough to consider it basically under my ownership, and as such have officially registered it under the private ownership of my company Total and Utter Hunt Healthcare Ltd.”

He explained, “With the parliamentary seat under private ownership, I shall charge the electorate a small fee for the privilege of having me represent them.

“And in the unlikely event of someone else getting more votes than me, I will naturally be entitled to charge them rent for sitting in my seat and I will retain a majority stake in any decisions made by that individual.”

Beaming proudly and waiting for rapturous applause which was not forthcoming, he hurriedly added, “And I would like to take this opportunity to thank the junior doctors for their unending support, and I promise to continue putting their interests first for the sake of the NHS.

“Well second, after mine.”