Donald Trump and Pope agree $110bn arms deal

author avatar by 7 years ago

The Vatican has defended signing a huge arms deal with the USA this morning, saying Donald Trump can be ‘unexpectedly persuasive’ when you’re in the same room.

Trump’s meeting with Pope Francis was expected to be an opportunity for His Holiness to question the President’s policies and methods, leading to his agreeing a purchase including reaper drones and helicopters being regarded as an unexpected outcome.

Trump described the deal as a ‘huge win’ for both America and the Vatican, and he looked forward to the Pope joining military operations against Islamic State within months.

“I’m not sure what happened there, really”, Pope Francis said after the meeting.

“I went in there intending to take him to task on climate change, the poor, Mexico, building walls, war, redistribution of wealth, the culture of plutocracy inherent in his administration, the rights of women and minorities and the dangers of nepotism.

“So when I came out wearing a MAGA hat and chanting’ USA! USA! USA!’, nobody was more surprised than me.”

Consulting a check list of purchases, he added, “Lord knows what I’m going to do with ‘forty integrated air missile defence units and one hundred fixed-wing anti-insurgency resolution devices’ – whatever those may be.

“Can they be used to deliver food aid packages, do you suppose?”

Donald Trump’s next meeting is with the G7 this weekend, where his aides have told them to bring cheque books in readiness.