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Paul Nuttall has announced a surprising addition to UKIP’s election pledges following a great idea he had during a televised debate yesterday.
In addition to banning Sharia courts and the wearing of full-face coverings in public, UKIP would introduce plans to make all women from Wales and other foreign countries change their name to Natalie in order to enable full integration into society unhindered by difficult to remember names such as Leanne.
“During the TV debate yesterday I had a bit of brainwave,” UKIP leader and former 1950s Winter Olympic gold medallist Paul Nuttall told reporters this morning.
“We all know there are loads of women all over the place in England, and what with all the immigrants coming over here and bringing their wives, mothers and daughters with them it is getting jolly complicated trying to pronounce or remember all the female names.”
He explained, “Leanne isn’t an English name, it’s a foreign Welsh name and as the debate was taking place in England I suddenly realised that it would be better to just call her Natalie.
“When in Rome, and all that.
“Then I figured we should probably roll out this idea across the country, thereby making it easier for women to integrate into English society. For example, if you’re in a café and an Indian woman walks in you can greet her with a cheery ‘Morning Natalie’ without fear of pronouncing her colonial name wrong.
“She will feel welcome, and you won’t feel as racist.
“I’m a genius, when you think about it,” he added, with characteristic modesty.
