ISIS facing civil war over choice of Apple or Microsoft laptops

author avatar by 6 years ago

ISIS terrorists are facing an internal civil war over which laptops are the best to bring down an airliner full of infidels, it has emerged.

Analysis of so-called chatter has revealed that a majority of would-be killers favour Apple’s sleek design aesthetic over Microsoft’s more functional, value-for-money approach.

And experts believe the schism could result in them killing each other in increasingly large numbers.

The news follows reports that a young ISIS terrorist was thrown off a very tall building for using a Samsung.

ISIS headbanger, Simon Wil-Yamsa, said, “Although the Apple MacBook Pro retails at £1150, it’s easy to use and fits snugly inside my hand luggage.

“Microsoft products generally offer more bang for your buck, but could be improved by incorporating innovative features like a touch-screen detonator.

“As well as delivering on carnage, both devices offer excellent memory capacity, but I probably won’t be needing most of it.

“I guess you need to strike a balance between killing everyone on board and standing out from the crowd.”

He added, “As for a Hewlett Packard, I wouldn’t be seen dead using one.”