People who followed David Hayes’ advice and put their dole money on Tony Bellew are considerably richer this morning.
Haye is expected to get a job as a financial adviser after he retires from boxing, as his advice to bet against him turned out to be one of the best tips in years.
“When David said that Bellew’s followers were all morons, retarded and on the dole, most commentators before the event thought it was just spectacularly ill-advised and pointlessly rude trash talk,” we were told.
“But as it turned out Haye showed himself to be one of the best sports pundits out there with a firm grasp of his own fitness and likelihood of winning the fight.
“Those on the dole who followed his advice are substantially better off this morning, with many of them able to afford their first holiday in years.
“It was a very generous gesture on his part, getting punched until he fell over like that to make sure everyone who did as he said made a packet.”
City financial companies are already ‘in talks’ with Haye to join their ranks, as they’ll just ask him what he’s going to be doing and then bet as hard as possible on the exact opposite happening.