UKIP calls for ban on Aslef for sounding a bit foreign

Train drivers union Aslef sounds like it was born in Bongo-Bongo Land, according to a UKIP spokesperson this afternoon.

After members of the union had voted to reject the latest deal from Southern Rail, UKIP said it was a prime example of what happens when things with weird sounding names are allowed to integrate into our society.

UKIP Spokesperson Simon Williams told us, “We are shocked that yet again hard working British people will be forced out on strike because of Muslim extremists like Aslef.

“I bet it’s because the trains aren’t halal or something, maybe Southern wouldn’t agree to force all female passengers into burkas.

It will be something disgusting written in the Koran that has made this happen, I guarantee it.

When it was pointed out that Aslef was an acronym for The Associated Society of Locomotive Engineers and Firemen, Williams said, “that’s what they want you to think.”

He concluded, “I tell you what, whoever heard of a union called ‘Dave’ or ‘Gary’ calling a strike, eh? You haven’t, because it’s only these bloody foreign trouble makers that do it.

“The sooner they all sod off home, the better.”