Former UKIP leader Nigel Farage has today clarified that immigrants from Europe are allowed to freeload in Britain, but only if they happen to be younger French ladies who are willing to do anything in return for food and accommodation.
The frog-face buffoon made the announcement after it was discovered that a French former waitress fifteen years his junior has been living at his weekday home in Chelsea.
Speaking to reporters Farage said, “Now then, let me explain. This arrangement is totally above board and I wholeheartedly refute any allegations of impropriety.
“Ms Ferrari, which is a pretty exciting name I’m sure you’ll agree, is a business associate who just needed somewhere to stay. We have a working relationship, and that’s that.”
He added, “The fact that there is only one bedroom shows how I am willing to work closely alongside my European colleagues, despite my rampant fear of foreigners.”
It is yet to be confirmed whether Farage employs the same approach to withdrawing from Europeans as he does from Europe, or whether he is in favour of occasional re-entry.