Staff at an Edinburgh Letting Agency have concluded that their boss is still a total bastard despite the Christmas jumper he has decided to wear for their office party.
“Simon’s wearing the same Christmas jumper as last year,” says Property Manager Donna Harrington.
“It’s got Rudolph on the front. He thinks it’s brilliant that the nose lights up but it’s really distracting when he’s giving you a bollocking for coming in 3 minutes late on the morning of the Christmas party.
“We’re all going out straight after work without him. I’ll be downing my first double vodka at a nanosecond past five and by six I’ll be playing tonsil-tennis with Jamie from accounts, just like last year.
“It’ll put me right off if that bellend’s in the pub.”
Team Leader, 42-year-old Simon Williams, believes that entering into the spirit of Christmas is important for staff morale.
“My team know I’m a bit mad,” says Williams.
“On ‘Comic Relief’ day I wore bright red socks and for ‘Children in Need’ I put my tie on back to front. I think Graeme even found it funny despite the fact that I was sacking him for smoking a cigarette in a company vehicle at the time.”
“We like to work hard and play hard, that’s why I’ll be letting the guys stay out until half past two this afternoon after lunch.
“I’ve asked around to see who wants to go for a drink after work but everyone’s going straight home.
“Just like last year.”