Donald Trump to leave America for a younger, sexier country

author avatar by 8 years ago

President-elect Donald Trump has already got a much younger, sexier county lined up to replace America in his affections.

Concerns have already been raised after Trump demanded America enter into a pre-nup before he takes the oath of office.

Trump, who has already been accused of screwing Mexico when he thinks he can get away with it, defended his roving eye by saying that ‘any President’ would check out hot, available countries and there was nothing wrong with it.

Trump’s penchant for ‘exotic’ foreign names is well recorded, and the people of Brunei Darussalam are already concerned after he commented on ‘getting his tongue around their name’.

Meanwhile, members of NATO and the UN have been told to ‘put out or get out’ in what is being interpreted as a direct demand for favours.

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“Look, if Puerto Rico weren’t a protectorate, I’d already be all over them. If I weren’t already their president and, you know, Is that terrible? Is it?”, he told reporters.

“And the Russian Republic. Daughter of the Soviet Union, sure, but they’re only 23 years old. And they’re big, voluptuous, you might say. That’s pretty sexy, am I right?

“I wonder if they’ve got a, you know, opening I might fill.”

North Korea, who are into uniforms and BDSM, have already signalled their willingness to enter into an affair with the President no matter what the consequences for him at home.