Long battle ends as Wile E Coyote finally wins dyspraxia status
by Dan Sweryt 10 years ago 
Calamitous carnivore Wile E Coyote has had his dyspraxia status legally recognised after having suffered literally in silence for 67 years.
Dyspraxia is a condition where motor skills such as hand-eye coordination are affected, often giving the impression of clumsiness.
Simon Williams, Mr Coyote’s psychotherapist, said, “We’ve fought long and hard to have this diagnosis legally recognised.
“My patient has often been called a buffoon, an idiot and even, most offensively, CLUMSY in his attempts to catch his natural prey. But now he has a genuine condition proving he has never been able to do what he was hoping to do.
“How he’s stayed alive for so long is amazing. Especially given the average lifespan of a coyote who doesn’t frequently handle explosives is only 6 to 8 years.”
Mr Coyote now qualifies for state benefit, negating the need to catch his own food. A spokesman for Roadrunner welcomed the news saying, “Meep meep.”
He will now return to civil court to pursue his claim against ACME plc for alleged misselling of military grade equipment.
Yet more NewsThump stories
‘We must cut capital gains tax for people who give me five-million pound gifts’, insists Nigel Farage
Reform promises to rescue Britain by taking money from people who can’t work and giving tax breaks to people who don’t need to
Italians riot as tourist orders cappuccino after 11am
Man begins three-day period of saying the time and then what time it ‘really’ is
Johnny Depp left terrified after Met Office issues Amber warning
