Long battle ends as Wile E Coyote finally wins dyspraxia status

author avatar by 7 years ago

Calamitous carnivore Wile E Coyote has had his dyspraxia status legally recognised after having suffered literally in silence for 67 years.

Dyspraxia is a condition where motor skills such as hand-eye coordination are affected, often giving the impression of clumsiness.

Simon Williams, Mr Coyote’s psychotherapist, said, “We’ve fought long and hard to have this diagnosis legally recognised.

“My patient has often been called a buffoon, an idiot and even, most offensively, CLUMSY in his attempts to catch his natural prey. But now he has a genuine condition proving he has never been able to do what he was hoping to do.

“How he’s stayed alive for so long is amazing. Especially given the average lifespan of a coyote who doesn’t frequently handle explosives is only 6 to 8 years.”

Mr Coyote now qualifies for state benefit, negating the need to catch his own food. A spokesman for Roadrunner welcomed the news saying, “Meep meep.”

He will now return to civil court to pursue his claim against ACME plc for alleged misselling of military grade equipment.