Byron Burgers plead ignorance in hiring Mickey Mouse, Batman and Keyser Söze

author avatar by 7 years ago

Byron Burgers have insisted they are not guilty of any wrongdoing after they hired workers apparently from the world of film, television and cartoons.

Undocumented employees of the burger chain have given assurances that the restaurants are the unsuspecting victim of their forged documentation, clever impressions and a love of cosplay.

“Byron Burgers’ employment practices in hiring us were fully compliant with immigration and asylum law,” insisted Mr Mickey Mouse.

“But we pulled the wool over their eyes with a clever system of mirrors and pulleys…and literally some wool, so they couldn’t see anything properly.”

A Home Office spokesman confirmed the presence of wool in the eyes of all Byron staff responsible for ‘right to work’ checks, which, much to the surprise of everyone, appears to be a legitimate legal defence.

Mr Batman agreed that the chain had complied with their legal responsibilities.

He explained, “With the wool in place, I fooled the innocent restaurant chain with an elaborate 4-year hoax.

“With the cape and the cowl, there was no way they could have told me from the real Batman; I’d even made a bat-shaped business card.

Mr Söze also leapt to the defence of the burger chain, telling reporters, “Allegations that Byron systematically hired employees without the correct checks are categorically false.

“I stood in front of a height chart for my entire tenure; anybody could easily be fooled by that.

“For years on end, and at least 35 times.”