The term ‘honour killing’ has been named oxymoron of the year after experts found that killing someone because they embarrassed you is as about as dishonourable as it gets.
‘Honour killing’ fought off stiff competition from ‘honest politician’ and ‘intelligent racist’ to gain the title, and will now take its place amongst the greatest oxymorons of all time.
Judging panel spokesperson Simon Williams told us, “We considered all of those oxymorons put before us, but frankly, nothing came close murdering someone because you’re worried that something they did might mean some other people look at you funny.
“Putting the word ‘honour’ in front of that just blew everything else out of the water – and remember that we had the Brexit campaign claims to consider alongside ‘honest politicians’.
“It’s like putting the word ‘tasty’ in front of ‘dogshit’ – there are no circumstances in which they can legitimately go together and not be called out as oxymoronic.”
Honour killing perpetrator Wasim Baloch said he was disappointed at the award.
He explained, “Slipping your sister a sleeping tablet and then strangling her in her sleep just because she’s got a popular Instagram account is just about the most honourable things you can do.
“I’m like a Knight of the Round Table, and a walking talking advert for modern chivalry.
“Yes I am, shut up.”