Brexit means I can finally play outside Europe, claims Man Utd’s Ibrahimovic

author avatar by 7 years ago

Zlatan Ibrahimovic has claimed that the UK’s historic vote to leave the European Union was the main motivation for his move to Manchester United.

Speaking in the third person, the Swede explained his decision.

“Zlatan has conquered the European Union winning titles in all the countries that matter – Holland, Italy, Spain and France,” said Ibrahimovic, whose antipathy towards Germany stems from a mutual lack of capacity for self-deprecation.

“As a lifelong Eurosceptic, it’s always been my dream to play outside the EU.”

United manager Jose Mourinho revealed his anxieties around the result of last Thursday’s referendum.

“We wanted everything wrapped up before the EUROs but Zlatan wasn’t having it.

“He insisted on waiting for the result of the referendum. Given the polls I thought we were going to lose him, he had big money offers from China, who also hate the EU.

“Sven Goran-Eriksson was on the line from Shanghai every day giving it all this about China’s disregard for climate change, their non-existent welfare state and despicable human rights record – I genuinely thought we’d lost him.”

Club captain Wayne Rooney also spoke of his attempts to convince Ibrahimovic to sign for United.

“I told him that we’re in the Europa League which isn’t proper European football anyway and our pre-season tour is in Asia.

“I’m just delighted we’ve got the deal wrapped up before he realises no-one wants to trigger Article 50.”