Thursday 30 June 2016 by Raggedyman

Green party calls for the Polititron coalition-bot to ASSEMBLE!


The Green Party has called for the bold parties to form the Polititron robot and assemble for battle.

With the two main parties in disarray over Brexit, Caroline Lucas has said that activating the Power Crystals and forming a 200-foot tall battle robot to fight the disorganised RightWingers at Westminster is the only logical step at this point.

“Heart of the Greens! Mind of the Lib Dems! Muscle of Labour! erm… Eyes of Plaid Cymru!. By our powers combined, we are PROGRESSIVE!” Natalie Bennett shouted from atop the Tower of Justice.

“We must put aside our petty differences and wield the Sword of Justice to stop the evil Brexitron from going all Godzilla on our economy.

“Only once the battle is won, in an extended sequence of lights and explosions that looks like two people in cheap costumes fighting in a cardboard city, can we say that the people are free.”

Caroline Lucas, carrier of the Green’s one remaining Ring Of Office, has confirmed that now is the time to act.

“Apart we are but a collection of good intentions and inflexible political dogma, but together we can be a mighty war machine destroying all in its path.

“A carbon neutral war machine, that will leave nothing but jobs and comically unconscious Conservatives in its wake.

“But we must move fast to take power from the Evil Righty Empire, before they quit having their ritual of the Changing Faces and elect their new Supreme Leader: BoJo-JoJo.

“His powers are strong, and combined with the Faragists he will be able to drink the Thames in one mouthful.

“You really don’t want to know how he uses that in a fight…”

At this time none of the Progressive Pack have responded to the Progressive Signal, possibly because it’s using those low wattage eco-friendly light bulbs.

“We must move now, so that the Power of Pee-Arr can be installed in the Palace of Decision Making!!

“What do you mean ‘that would give the Ukippers even more seats’?!”

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