As the country enters day two of a new world in which England have lost in a major football tournament to Iceland, the population awaits a Winnie the Pooh meme to help the long, slow process of recovery.
“I’m still in a state of shock, to be honest,” said England fan and deluded optimist Simon Williams.
“I’ve just been slumped on my sofa for over 36 hours now, I haven’t even been able to brush the crumbs of quavers off my overpriced, replica England shirt.
“Unless someone comes up with a Winnie the Pooh meme to make sense of this soon, then frankly I don’t know how I’m going to cope.”
Famously, a Winnie the Pooh meme about heavy drinking in the wake of the EU referendum helped heal a divided country, and England fans hope the same can occur in the wake of the Iceland defeat.
“I assume that there’s some sort of Government department dedicated to Winnie the Pooh memes, and I can appreciate that they’ve been very busy with the one for the EU referendum.
“But we’re desperate for one for the England football team.
“Preferably with Roy Hodgson as Eeyore, and a pun on ‘pooh’ in reference to Joe Hart’s inability to cope with anything that happens on his left-hand side.”