Nigerian FA questions Wayne Rooney’s real age

author avatar by 8 years ago

The head of the Nigerian FA has suggested that Wayne Rooney may secretly be much older than his official age of 30.

Samuel Amokachi demanded to see the England captain’s passport after watching his performance against Iceland.

“You expect me to believe that was the performance of a 30-year-old? Maybe in dog years. And not a healthy dog.

“Seriously, this guy turned up at 16 years old built like a cruiserweight, then by his late 20s his legs were gone. What are we supposed to make of that?

“If he were Nigerian you would naturally assume he had a false age. Why should an Englishman be different? He has middle-aged spread for goodness sake!”

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When asked for comment, Wayne Rooney’s representatives refused to confirm or deny the rumours.

“We asked Wayne his age, but he was unable to provide an answer. He made it as far as ten but then ran out of fingers and thumbs. And he couldn’t manage to untie his shoelaces to move onto his toes.”

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