EU campaigns resume with more respectful tone towards f*cking Brexit wankers

The EU campaigns have quietly resumed today in a new spirit of tolerance towards the racist bigots who want us to leave.

Pro and anti-EU factions say that if the tragic events of last week have taught us one thing it is that malicious, negative campaigning undermines our fragile democracy, especially the kind adopted by the c*nt Farage and the fat, blond wanker who wants to be Prime Minister.

From now on both sides will stick to the facts like how probable nonce Gove is a vampiric fascist who raids NHS blood banks to maintain his youthful looks.

Farage has already scaled down his estimates of the numbers of swarthy people arriving from Turkey from 70 million to a more realistic 55 million.

In response , David Cameron has claimed Brexit will not totally fuck the UK’s economy, but the fallout will be more like being slapped in the face by a large, uncircumcised penis.

Next week, in a goodwill gesture, Nigel Farage has pledged to kiss a migrant while thanking him for his tax contributions as detailed on his P60.

Addressing a half-interested press conference, the monumental bellend Cameron said,

“Let’s cut out the personal attacks, the outright lies and let’s all look forward to the massive tax cut everyone will get if the country votes to stay in.”