Christians to mark occasion of botched execution in Middle East

author avatar by 8 years ago

Christians are busily filling their houses with chocolate eggs and rabbits, to mark the anniversary of a botched execution in Golgotha.

Approximately 2,000 years ago, a resident of the region was sentenced to death for treason. But due to an administrative error, he was only hung up for ‘the best part of an afternoon’.

“As a mark of respect, I’ll be eating chocolate and some rather flamboyant cakes,” explained Jesus super-fan Simon Williams.

“The thought of primitive justice systems always makes me feel hungry.”

Williams isn’t the only one who gets a big appetite at the merest whiff of crucifixion: Jesus himself went out for a big tea with his mates just before the big day.

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After surviving his punishment, the fugitive quickly died, which was seen as a ‘miracle’ at the time.

“He died for all our sins,” explained Williams.

“And also for the treason thing.

“Which when I think about it, is a lot worse than anything I’ve recently done.”