Christians are busily filling their houses with chocolate eggs and rabbits, to mark the anniversary of a botched execution in Golgotha.
Approximately 2,000 years ago, a resident of the region was sentenced to death for treason. But due to an administrative error, he was only hung up for ‘the best part of an afternoon’.
“As a mark of respect, I’ll be eating chocolate and some rather flamboyant cakes,” explained Jesus super-fan Simon Williams.
“The thought of primitive justice systems always makes me feel hungry.”
Williams isn’t the only one who gets a big appetite at the merest whiff of crucifixion: Jesus himself went out for a big tea with his mates just before the big day.
After surviving his punishment, the fugitive quickly died, which was seen as a ‘miracle’ at the time.
“He died for all our sins,” explained Williams.
“And also for the treason thing.
“Which when I think about it, is a lot worse than anything I’ve recently done.”