The Sun remains confident that old lady dislikes foreigners

author avatar by 8 years ago

The Sun is willing to stake its reputation on the fact that an old person definitely doesn’t like foreigners.

Editor in Chief of the The Sun, Tony Gallagher, told the Today programme on BBC Radio 4 that he was as confident as he could be that an 89 year-old woman from London isn’t actually very fond of all those foreigners coming over here and making up our rules.

He explained, “We have multiple sources all confirming that old people don’t like foreigners, and she’s an old person; QED. Or for readers of our paper, FACT!”

“Yes, we might have taken some editorial gambles with our headlines in the past, but this is about as safe a bet as we’ve ever made.

“If you don’t believe me, try having a quick chat about immigration with an old person yourself.”

London resident Simon Williams said he found it hard to picture the Queen being in favour of Brexit.

He told us, “I just don’t believe the Queen hates foreigners, she looks like such a nice old lady, right?”

“But then so does my Nan, and she’s so racist I’m half expecting to find all her pillow cases have eye holes cut into them.

“That said, won’t the Queen and Phil be screwed if we vote to leave and can then send back all the Germans and Greeks?”