Lionel Messi goes record 35 games without paying tax

Lionel Messi has broken a decades old Spanish record by going 35 games without paying tax.

The Argentinian striker celebrated his tax avoidance record with a hat trick last night, though he will not declare the match ball in his tax reports.

Fellow tax avoiders and team mates Mascherano and Neymar had hoped to break the record first, though they still currently stand at 28 and 22 games respectively.

The millionaire star was ecstatic last night and told reporters, “I can’t believe it; I have waited a long time for this record and I am so glad it has finally happened.

“All the hard work of finding loopholes and pretending I don’t already have millions anyway has finally paid off.

“I want all my young fans to know that anything is possible, so I suggest that they should start reading into Spanish law and hiding pocket money from their parents now.

“I want to dedicate this award to the memory of my dad. He isn’t dead but when he goes to prison that’s likely how he’ll end up.”

A Barcelona spokesman added, “We are delighted Lionel has broken this record, it is testament to his desire to succeed on and off the field. No-one one will ever match his financial skill.

“He gets past those pesky tax forms like he gets past La Liga defenders.

“You just have to look at his records to know that he is the best. 5 Ballon d’Ors, 4 Champion’s Leagues, over 500 career goals and 3 undeclared properties on the Spanish coast.”